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Thanks for the comments!!
Vera, I read yours to my husband. He wants to choke him, he is so mad. He said you are welcome to come stay with us! You have some experience with this! He knows I have been journaling here, although I have never read any of it tohim before. I told him I wished you could sit down with our boy. He asked me today how I was doing without gambling. He saw the email alerts on my phone for the comments. I told him that I was missing the excitement, but happy not to have the hangovers!
I remember having whiplash once, I had no idea my head was that heavy! My neck hurt so bad having to keep my head up there! I also had a few back spasms, but was ok after about two weeks, I got better everyday. Hope you feel better very soon!
Happy, I pictured your garden, and it sounds like my back deck. That is where I sat for some reading too. It needs to be pressure washed and a board has rotted and needs to be replaced. But the tranquility of the spot is still good. Getting alone with the Bible and prayer always helps me. I know I am in trouble when I don’t want to do that. I think when I am like that I don’t want anything to stop me from getting what I want. I once wrote down all the reasons not to gamble. It is in a little book in my purse. I wrote this in 2013 I think. I have probably read it maybe 5 times in 2 years. It is really raw when I have read it. The thing I am trying to say is this, any CG that read it would not want those things to happen to them. I know that! That is why when I want to gamble, I won’t read it!!! It might stop me.
Maybe I will post it here. I have read my thread through
several times and it would be here for me to see. I think I will get it out and reread it now. It hurts to know I continued on for another year after writing it. It hurts to know that I still want to turn a blind eye to the chaos and play those stupid machines. I didn’t gamble today. I went shopping to the hardware store with my husband and bought the guts to fix the kid’s toilet and some cedar sachets for my closet. We went to The Dollar Tree (everythings a dollar) and spent $35! On mostly junk. Then we went to a steakhouse and had a Porterhouse for two. Then to the grocery store. It was a fine day out!