[joerdj]

I never thought that recovery would be a steady line upwards. There will always be dips and highs. 

So now when I think about it, indeed not “Back to one” again. Cause that would mean the other 200 or so days would have been for nothing.

But on the other hand, I’m a bit pissed at myself. I always had it in the back of my mind that a relapse would happen so I already had peace with it( before it happened) Silly me knew it, and I still did it anyway.

I guess that is what we call an addiction