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there is definitely a connection between voids and gambling, i pushed a lot of people away to be left alone whilst gambling but it was an endless circle of using gambling as a way of not acknowledging what i was doing as when i am in the throws of gambling, nothing else in the world matters when really it does. That’s proven to be a lie as now that the gambling isn’t there and i have someone encouraging me to look at the reality, it’s painful and it drains you not just for 50 mins but for most of the week too.
We both think that this is going to take longer than 12 sessions and i think i will probably ask her if i can carry on at my own expense (not every week as i cant afford that yet) but i haven’t plucked up the courage to ask because if she says no then i may just fall apart, although i would be in the right place for that 🙂
i feel this is my chance for recovery and i don’t think that the worst is over by any means but it’s what i want more than anything in the world. I want a normal life, i want people in it and i want to treat myself better….all achievable, not just for me but for anyone who reads this post.