The thing is for me anyway, I would not want another person to go through this, in actual fact I don’t think that many could cope as well as we do with it. What inner strength we must have to keep trying over and over, what pain we suffer, but I do think there is huge difference between a CG who is wanting to change, wanting to stop recognises the addiction for what it is, than a CG who has not recognised that it is destroying their life, which is where we all were before we recognised that we were addicted.
It is a selfish addiction, but that is not to say that the person is selfish although it appears that way, that we only care about us and our next fix, if only it were that simple then we would all have just stopped when we got to that point.
I think that with any addiction that people fall into whether it be food, drugs alcohol there are underlying causes, apparently there are two types of gambler escape and action, most of the time women fall into the escape type but not always. I became an escape gambler, during the gambling nothing mattered, the weight of problems past and present did not exist in that zone, when the pressure built up I knew where I could go, and for that time I was free of all my problems but of course I was not free at all, it was an illusion. All I did was create further problems for myself but interestingly for me the problems that I created gambling, were far worse than the unresolved issues that caused me to gamble, so all the time I was still gambling no chance in a million years of resolutions to what I was escaping from.
Then you stop, I stopped a fair number of times for long periods months at a time, but oh no I am addicted so urges cravings and the fall out of the mess and then absolutely no where to run to, no escape from me.
Facing up to the gambling chaos created in my life, is a task in itself that took me a long, long time to even begin to deal with.
I am not even sure what I am writing today, but I do know I rather have just my problems of me and not the extra gambling aftermath problems, a short escape from me at too high a price, my life.
