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Thanks — I was hoping you’d reply.  I hope others chime in with other advice rather than just my perspective.

I can understand the frustration of going to social events and being surrounded by the VN language & left out; however, as a counter to that, my first wife of 23 years (from a different Asian country) was totally anti-social and we had a life of ZERO friends, family, social gatherings. Ever.  Just the two of us.  Frankly I’d rather be in your situation.

Regarding cooking and cleaning, again that’s a nice component of any relationship. My first wife was the worst cook, could spend all day reading and measuring only to come up with a barely-edible pile of luke warm food. Year after year never improved. I had to cook myself. On cleaning the house, she was worse than her cooking skills. Hard to believe how filthy and cluttered our house was, it was horrendous! I had to do it all.

My girlfriend Nguyen cooks the most delicious food and keeps the tidiest house. 

My suggestions are:
Consider keeping her as your wife, take the good with the bad

Forgive her for getting pregnant with the other guy. She brought the gift of that daughter you raised and all the joy that comes with it, for you and the daughter. It sounds like for years she didn’t conceive a child with you. Perhaps you may never have had a child unless this occured. I see it as a blessing.

Is it possible to disallow credit be granted to a given person?  LIke an opt-out system. That would really control the amount of money she can squander.

I’ve spent a lot of time perusing stories online about gambling addiction. This forum is a good one for sure. Most people tell a different version of the same story. A common thread is that when a person decides to leave a relationship with a gambling addict, that person sees a big improvement in their life, not having to deal with the mental tortue that comes with it.  Another common thread is that the gambler never stops.  They may for a year or so, but gambling addiction is super strong and seems to stay with every person until they die.  A few lucky people can go to special therapy meetings but that seems to be a western ideology that isn’t congruent with Asian culture. So most likely your wife will never stop, only you can find a way to limit her access to funds.

If you do proceed with a divorce, I still think you can play the same game to your wife that she’s played to you.  Everyone says that gamblers lie about money! So think creatively about how you can concoct a way to extract $300,000 from your assets so that she can’t touch them. I could give you ideas but you know the drill. Brainstorm as if you were addicted to gambling, and come up with something. Then divorce in two years and walk away 50/50 what’s left.

And by the way your family seems a lot more sophisticated than Nguyen’s. They’re all “Nail Store” owners, dope growers, and there’s an odd real estate agent in the mix.  That’s about it.  

Good Luck! Keep posting updates.