Thanks Monique, I feel calmer today. The ‘full story’ is certainly very complex and I believe I can ‘see’ the reasons behind his gambling and manipulation and bad behaviour. Letting go is the hardest part but I turned it around and see it as a form of control. I am not in control of anyone else’s life, just my own. My children are adult children now and responsible for their own lives and mistakes. When so much time has been allocated to them, when they don’t need you any more, suddenly you’ve got all this time to fill! I have a new job which takes up four days a week now and I am feeling so tired, so energy is at a low at the moment. It’s recognising when I feel low, he must sense it! and in comes the requests for money. If I don’t feel strong I sometimes give in. I have another top up of one of my chemotherapy ***** soon so maybe my energy levels will come up :). Hope you are okay too. Take care San x