#3040
Neecy
Participant

Hi Monique
Thanks for your kind comments. Yes I am moving forward with a lot of help from the wonderful, kind people on here, the chat groups, the web team and GMA. I have found it very painful to move forward , but no more painful than staying where I was sitting on my bed crying all day while my CG was moving forward.
I’m still struggling daily, hourly if I’m totally honest. Xmas is bad time for me anyhow because of my son .Also it was my brothers bday on Saturday, he died six years ago and today is four years since I buried my mother. So all in all a tough time . So I am proud to be getting on with things at all. I’ve made myself put make up on which I haven’t been doing. I’m no longer going out looking like the Wreck of the Hesperus and frightening small children.
Thoughts of being without him and never seeing him again still crowd my mind but not enough to make me weaken and try to contact him. I have enough self respect to know I can’t make him want me and enough self respect to want him to respect me now even if he doesn’t love me. I know now I won’t die without him, even if it ll be hard to swallow and move on. I’ve acknowledged now I am worth it. And I want any man I’m with to acknowledge that and be proud to say to the world , this is a wonderful woman, she’s mine and I’m proud of her .
If I don’t speak to you again before, I wish you and your loved ones a peaceful and blessed Christmas.
Much love
Neecy xxxx