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thanks murr.

i really appreciate  your words and I definitely find myself in your shoes when reading your thread. Both comforting and scary

i know what it’s like losing all sense of amount, waiting to win big and that impulsivity overpowering my reasonable judgement 

I have found myself in a loop of bet, huge loss, in shock, full of regret, vowing never again (though in earnest) it has weakened my mind, clouded by good judgement and knocked my confidencE ( when facing  my closest people) that person is not me. 

We can rewire our minds. Make them less desensitised to higher amounts of money. I already feel like counting pennies is helping me. budgeting, buying cheap, looking for offers. Choosing one rather than two or three Is actually helping me. 

Murr today is another GF day for us. It is! Let’s take back control