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It seems like my whole adult life I have been supporting others in one way or another. I gave up my professional designation because my ex was in an accident and one of us had to work full time. I bought a house at a very young age on my own and gave up all the fun of being in my twenties to work and make a place for myself where I was at home. I kicked put my ex in my 30s when he thought he had trapped me in a relationship where he could do whatever he wanted because he got me pregnant. I gave up a lot to raise my daughter alone but in a happy home. I am in my 50s and have no idea of who I am in the grand scheme of things because when I  grew up, I didnt know anyone like me. I am happy to be single. Ecstatic, actually. I dont really need or want others in my life for the most part because if means sacrifice. My life is sad. I’m not sure if it’s sad because I gamble or if I gamble because it’s sad. I just know that something has to change in a big way  but I’m not sure that i have the direction and the energy with everything else that I am going through with my daughter. I go out every day looking a mess and swearing that I will change it someday. Never  seems to be time enough to do it all. I guess it might be time to make time