Thanks to those who joined me. It was a good discussion.
There were many forms of enabling mentioned. Obvious ones like lending money, bailing our of trouble etc. Things like putting up with unacceptable behaviour. Less obvious things as well, like reassurance, saying things will be ok, when unless something changes then they clearly wont be. Saying “It’s not your fault, it’s the addiction.” Things like keeping secrets for a gambler.
Also enabling isn’t only done by friends and family, it can equally be done by other gamblers lending each other money, covering each others tracks etc
One thing that was agreed on though, whatever enabling may have taken place we are all responsible for our own actions. However much my mum might have bailed me out it was ME who accepted it. It was ME who manipulated etc to get what I wanted. It was me who avoided taking responsibility for my own actions.
I always say that I was an a***hole who gambled. Was it the addiction that made me that a***hole? Maybe but that didn’t change the fact that I was one. Nor did I turn into a saint the day i stopped gambling, recovery takes work.
Whatever the addiction did to me I was still responsible for my own actions, then when I was gambling and now as I work recovery.
Anyway, again thanks for those that were there and hopefully see some of you soon. Don’t worry, recovery means i’m not that ****** any more 🙂