I’ve just been spending the last few days peicing things together, trying to make sense of it all.
Was speaking to my therapist today, I have been working on a budget and trying see the positives. I have 2 lodgers at the moment, I just hope that they stay on and help supplement some of this debt!
I’ve figured out if I significantly spend less I can clear a big chunk. If I reduce my food bill to £130 by cutting out treats and takeaways by March my debt will reduce from 15800 to 12200. If I get a annual bonus maybe even down to 10k. I just got to grit my teeth and see if I can get by on £70 for entertainment.
I’m just willing the time to go quickly taking each day and week and then month as it comes. I just want have a good balance in my accounts so i dont feel trapped so i feel secure for a rainy day if it takes 2 years to pay it all so be it.
It’s uncertainty at this stage that worries me, not knowing if I can manage on this budget not knowing when my lodgers will leave and if I can replace them. Guess there’s no point worrying about what you cant change!
I wrote a calendar out at work today highlighting each month how my debt could potentially lower and highlighting little things to look forward to each week like meal with friends or seeing family at xmas. It’s actually comforting that writing this itself eases the pain somewhat! If i cut these takeaways I could get my physical and financial shape made better, making lifestyle changes too so that this whole period can be stressless as possible, things like having a routine for chores, and cooking in bulk, getting to bed at a certain time so im early for work etc not tired and as vunerable to lifes stresses.
It takea real character for any of us, especially when been through this several times already in ones life to grit your teeth and fight it when all you feel like doing is curling up in a ball and letting the world spin until time has passed!
I’m going to try amd update this every few weeks/monthly or whenever I have something important to say.
Thank you for taking the time to write me such a kind message, I’ve been filling my time with classic films like the Godfather and playing computer games as soon as I feel ready to I’m going back to the gym too. I cant really tell my friends and family because they’ve known about my problems in the past and I just wanted to show them so badly that I have moved on with my life. I asked my bank to block me from borrowing any more money for a year so thats a start but yes when the chance permits i want to get an android phone as they have gambling blocking software. I just hate the little voices that tell u all the wrong stuff i dont want them ever twisting my arm again!