That mind set is what will get you through the dark days and keep you going until gambling is a distant memory. I can only imagine your pain of losing your wife and son man and I truly have no words to say how amazing you are for accepting your wrongs , a lot of us would point blame on the other person. I always say if we work on ourselves and we are content, we Will attract others with the same positive and happy lives. I believe your wife will be amazed at your progress and as cliche as it sounds, your actions are stronger than your words and you are showing not only her but yourself that you can get your gamble free life back and never look back. I believe 2020 will be gamble free for both of us, you can just kind of tell through someone’s posts when they have seen the light… when I was deep into my relapses you could tell I wasn’t ready to quit, but now when I speak of gambling and I read your posts too.. there is a sense of calm and relief that the worst part of the storm is over. Each day gamble free bring a a little less rain until there is nothing but sunshine brother. Take care of yourself and keep on posting. We all have your back here.
cheers