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Dark Energy

I am keep posting to stay close from this forum’s community and to always be reminded that I am a gambler, I have been visiting this forum less than what i have used to do in the first month, I guess this part of a relapse cycle ” to think that your now having the control”, in the last 2 years i have succeeded to stay out of gambling for 3 months for many times but after that i have relapsed,
I am recognizing a relapse cycle that I have to break this time

1. The cycle will start with recover financially and having extra money under your disposal ( done).
2. Start having thoughts to trade “gambling again” ( started)
3. having the delusion that now I am ok and I can control myself ( i am fighting this thought right now).
4. breaking the preventions strategies ( not started yet)
5. Fighting your urges it a stage where al the road blockers are gone and it is only your rational you fighting the gambler you( last time this stage took 10 days and it was as really tough).( not started yet)

6. relapse.

it seems it is a tradeoff between feeling normal (with a an increased risk of relapse) or keep admitting that you are a gambler and always will be (then you will have a less risk to relapse). for me I will take the 2nd option.