Thanks Charles-yes, we have spoken before and I really appreciate your comments. I support my hb going to his GA groups-but he has not gone the past 2 weeks. Today he was not balanced (I thought “ah,well..we all have such days…tomorrow is better”) and he admitted to me that when he was supposedly studying upstairs today – something caused him to check out porn online. Of course I got upset as this is OLD behavior. He then said that he had not done that during his entire recovery except … On New Years Eve. I can’ t look inside his brain (phew!) but I know that his dad was yelling at him yesterday after a conflict he had had with his sister over the phone…things got heated and meanwhile he has exams this week. I am expecting things from him, (but thank God my health is going much better so I feel strong & capable to cope with things) so this stress is triggering his mind to respond in OLD ways.
He acknowledges this and promised to work more on himself as of next week when exams are over. We shall see, I think.
He recently went out for a game of pool after the GA meeting (isn’t that a bit weird? Especially since he shares very personal things with those people). And one guy tried to pick a fight with him… He is not one to stick up for himself or engage in the situation (afraid for rejection from the group) and came home feeling bad. The next day he told me what had happened and I encouraged him to confront that guy with his feelings. He did so, via sms, and felt relieved and stronger after.
He set his boundaries!
Hope to chat soon.