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Hello All:

I am forty years old. I started gambling about 13 years ago when my husband and I met. He and I worked together in sales. Things were good back then, I had not ever made that much money in my life. He was a poker player and he and I went gambling on our first date. I enjoyed the slot machines. Everything that I touched for around 3 years I would win on. If I didn’t win here and there I always knew that I had a big commission check coming so I would spend thousands of dollars. He and I got married, and our love of gambling kept going. We had a beautiful home, two children and before I knew it, we were swimming in debt. Payday loans, casino markers, etc. We didn’t know how to spend time together if we were not gambling. Everything seemed so boring to us outside of that. It took over our love life. We still maintained everything for the children, etc. We were not bad people, just two people that liked to gamble 1-2 nights a week. Fast forward to about 8 years in the marriage and we separated because of the stress, however we still went gambling together. We are now back together, and have been for over a year. We did loose our home, however, it seemed okay because we separated and everyone around us thought we just sold the house, when in fact we both filed bankruptcy for a clean start. We are now renting a nice home, and still married and working on our marriage. The problem is that we still gamble. We no longer work at the same jobs, so money is much much more tight. We do not gamble as we did. We do however go whenever we have extra money. He and I may be strong and able to stay together, I however, lost most of my friends and some distant relatives due to borrowing money and gambling it away. I feel horrible as I never would have asked people for money. My best friend (wealthy) gave me a total of $14,000 during my two year split from my husband. I was making payments to her but recently got laid off. My best friend filed a civil suit against me for the money. Now when I get my next job I can be garnished for that money. I lost my best friend. I feel horrible, but as I write this can not say that I will not gamble again. The gambling has destroyed me. I would do anything to not want to continue to go. Is this a forever disease?