Like you I was always trying to analyse what leads me to gambling as an escape and coping mechanism. I know that when I am vulnerable I gamble, when I’m sad, I gamble and when I’ve been in an argument or anything that is detrimental to my self worth and self esteem, these are triggers when I run to escape and find the thrill of gambling taking me away and dreaming what my life would be if I just won or had this money.
I knew I was in debt and always broke as a result of gambling but never realised it was an illness that got progressively worst especially after I found online gambling which was so accessible and made me lose so much in such a short space of time. Money I had worked for all month was reduced to zero in ONE day !
My sister pointed out that gambling addiction is a sickness and a chemical imbalance that requires treatment as we cannot help ourselves to get better and it is not us behaving this way. Gambling changes our persona, our lifestyle and feeds off self interest at the exclusion of everyone else, just what we want to escape from our situation or effects of what we’ve been through all the way from our childhood.
I’ve chosen to go into rehab to stop this addiction and cycle and understand the psychological effect and reasons that have led me to escape to my dark secret world of safety but gambling does the reverse by changing me into someone I don’t like or even know.
You have come to the right place and have the right perspective. This is about you now. This is your time now.
And you will find the answers and work through things for yourself as you walk this road.
We cannot reverse what we’ve done or may not recover what we’ve lost or change our past but we can change our future by living for today cos that is all we have. The future is not ours. We can only live in the now.
We cannot take money with us when we die but we can take character, integrity and strength with us when we do and become a beautiful, caring and loving person and help others and be who we were meant to be and reveal the real you.
Your only win is to stop gambling and shut the gates BEFORE the horse has bolted. Self -exclude from all the sites and put those barriers in place to make you a winner.
Be strong and stay focused and keep posting.