I re-read a lot of your thread and found your words inspiring and full of comfort. I pray your scan was negative and that you remain healthy. How brave and strong you are to be dealing with all of what you have…I pray my strength grows from the words of people like you so that I too can “be better”
I resonate with the PTSD piece – i feel like I could be dx with that too. I am not prepared for another round of personal therapy (I was in individual therapy for 15 years and at least another 5 on and off with my CG – I feel like i should know everything by now!) but I think all the trauma from the far past and the nearer past takes it toll. My CG says he is working to reform himself (6 months gamble and sex free!) but I don’t know how I can ever trust him again.
And I think the piece about apologizing to your kids was so spot on – I always try too be honest with them about my many short comings and let them know I love them despite being a flawed mother.
Thank you for showing the dark path lit up for those of us who still stumble in darkness…