Hi San,

I’ve been busy with company and other things, but I at least read on the site every day, and just wanted to pop in and let you know I’m thinking about you and hoping to see another Un-enabling post from you soon.

Those of us who are Mothers do understand in a way those who aren’t Mothers never could. But no one that loves a cg is going to judge you for decisions you make (right or wrong) out of love for your son.

Sometimes I think it is just too difficult to make the “right” decision – our hearts can’t take it. And sometimes, life’s complications make it too difficult to know what the “right” decision is.

For me it took lots of practice to remove “too difficult” from my thinking so I could make the “right” decision (for me) time and time again. While it has never been easy to do, it did get easier to do because I try to make decisions with my head instead of my heart – as a practice rather than in reaction. And then I look for affirmation and support here. Does that make sense? (lol)

Obviously I cannot know that I would do the same if my cg was my precious step-daughter (whom I love as my own) instead of my husband, but I’d like to think I could eventually.

I DO think I can say with near certainty that, if she were to become a cg now -having personally seen how refusing enablement has allowed my husband to begin to turn his life around (long way to go but definitely making progress) – I would be tough as nails with her. But I would also need therapy and a tremendous amount of support to deal with my emotions and guilt.

Anyway, I’m rambling and writing as I think …

I hope you are doing well, emotionally and physically.