this is quite a bang on observation. My divorce finalized two weeks ago (and im truly happy about that chapter closing). A big reason for me to gravitate towards gambling was my toxic marriage and the dumb inlaws I had to deal with. Casinos were a form of escape, until that escape route trapped me even further…. I have recently started hitting the gym again (as I gained 100 lbs in the last 12 years), but being a tall guy I never looked obese, but I knew I have to get fit.
Back to the gambling, I came home last night and joined this forum only in pursuit of validating my claim that throwing a stash of $100 bills on the craps table isnt cool, and no one friggin cares who you are in the casino. Once you lose that money, you walk off in this dejected, toxic shame that spreads all around your body and you come up with dumb reasons to withdraw a bit more to recover it. The notion and emotion of, “oh that number on the wheel came right after I bet that, or I just thought of that number, and I wish I had bet a much bigger wager on it. Then you spiral into your own delusion disney land where you start approving different mathematical strategies in your mind to rob the casino next time. You just end up robbing yourself end of the day, and the next day, and the day after. You drive back after puffing a couple of smokes in the parking lot in minus 15, beating yourself down, and on the drive back you find excuses as to this is all you can do for fun in a boring city like Toronto as you have done it all, clubbing, drinking, eating out, movies, and for some reason this version of fun is the only thing that makes you happy. But its quite the contrary. You are not happy! We have this self destruction superpower that we can sell ourselves that al the poison we consume is somehow good for us, and this is where it all ends.
I still do ok in business, but my productivity and client satisfaction has gone down in recent years, and that has definitely hurt my brand and cash flow, and the only culprit is gambling.
Last night as I was pulling up close to the casino, I saw the racetrack lights lighting up the sky. Uncontrollably, I parked, got out and started walking towards the front door, and a voice inside said to me, “you are like a stupid moth, and just like a moths short lived life, you too will die running around these lights very soon, if you dont do something!”
The amount of money I have blown in this year alone on casinos is insane. My reserves are an all time low, and I feel sick