Been away for a while, dropping back in I guess. Have been lurking the posts but didn’t reply to anything.

Things have gone up and down a lot since I last updated. I don’t know where things stand now, or where they may be going. We’ve had decent days, and days where we haven’t spoken more than required for the kids. Everything in between.

I vary the way I go home, just for a change of pace. A couple of them pass the shops where she used to spend so much time. I drive past, and don’t see her car, and that eases a little tension inside. Except for the one day I saw her car in the lot. I stopped, and walked in, and she was sitting at one of the machines, so there was no question this time. I just said we had things to talk about, and she needed to think about it, and left.

I hadn’t passed those places every day, but it was off and on, but hadn’t seen her car there. So I’d like to believe she hasn’t been going. For the most part, the financial end seems to have leveled out. I have managed to get caught up on everything I was paying, and have gotten numerous paid off, so that’s a plus. On the other hand, I can’t ask questions about much of anything without it blowing up in my face. Almost anything seems to cause tension. So, $ is about the only way we seem to be making progress, and that’s been slow and a lot of work.
Most days it feels like I’m not welcome in the house, and that’s made things even tougher with the kids.

She finally did admit that she’d had a problem, but to the best of my knowledge, never talked to anyone, joined any groups, etc. Said it’s all under control and she’s not going any more. I know she isn’t going like she was before, cause we’d have been sunk by now. I don’t know that she hasn’t gone at all, and that makes me feel like a total jerk that I can’t trust that.
I want to get past that, but I don’t know how.