Thanks P Thanks Kpat.
I am in such a bad head space today.
Step 1 my life has become unmanageable. No truer words ever said. I find myself in similar situations, places I thought I would never revisit.
I took a Xanax as I felt I could not make it through the evening without my head exploding.
Talked to Jen this morning. She took all the money left in our joint account-not just what I told her she could have. I now have to come up with all the insurance money that is coming out this weekend. I have decided that once this payment is made ( and the next automatic payment on her credit card) I have to close the account. If I just let the account overdraw it will affect me as it is at my job and I can’t afford to have them noisy in my business.
I saw my mom today. She won’t help me with Jen because she knows I booked the cruse for November. How dare I enjoy myself! Since we all now know that I have always been her “problem child” and got pregnant at 17 “just to spite her” I do not deserve her help! Yes she has loaned me money in the past-which I have paid back with interest. She needs all her money just in case my drug addict brother might need something. I mean you know after all he’s “sick”. I can very well take care of myself and if I have money for cruses then surely I have a lot of money and I can bail Jen out.
Failure-again and again. I feel like I am holding a sign over my head. Or maybe a sign on my back-kick me.