Well it feels like does to me,every minute feels like hours,im exhausted from the time i awake to the time i go to bed.
Back on stress leave,work has been a horrible horrible stressful place for me to be,they want me gone,union guy told me.
Was given a few days to think about it,what i wanted to do,he said basically they want to pay me out.
But been almost 2 weeks and no communication from anyone,needless to say im at my wits end.
So today i was ask from the compensation board to provide back 5 years in chronological order all DR.s and medical professionals includong counlsers with numbers and addresses,YIKES omg i just panicked ,omg im so afraid they will find out about my Gambling .
So now i dont want to continue with this ,between my work bullying me,all i ever wanted was an outsider to come in and help me.But i should of known any insurance company that is going to pay your wages is for sure going to try and find anything on you in order not to pay,
I cannot run the risk of anyone knowing about my gambling.
All i want is someone on my side for once,but instead i get only people with their own adgendas,
I think im going to be jobless very soon,days away.
Kids dont know my second biggest secret ever since gambling.
Scared to death to tell them,that their mom is so hated at her job that they even told her the sight of her eyes is enough or could be grounds for dismissal.
So more lies they never end do they,
The past is maybe not the past yet at all ,maybe im still falling from the first time.
Im tired of trying ,i really for the life of me cannot see a happy ending at all.
A New Year is even a scarier thought for me.
Im just yaking aloud here cause im holding it all in .
Had a earthquake here last night ,went out side after for a smoke,wasnt even scared ,went right back to bed and said ,Its okay God you can take me im ready,and fell back to sleep no problem at all.
Need that happy day soon.
Hope any one who reads this has a very wonderful New Year i do.take care all
