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Today I have done two positive things. I have contacted the Broadway, and asked them to help me with my benefit situation, and waiting for them to contact me. then I called my GP and asked them for a sick note, which will be ready in two days. And also wrote a letter(emailed)my GP explaining how I feel generally and asking him to help me. For me(the gambler me) this few steps was so difficult to take. I was feeling I do not have any right to ask for help, I was feeling all I am doing is gambling and do not deserve help. I have to change that way of thinking. I was thinking I should be very selfish to consider myself as some one who needs help. But now I feel I really need help to be in the right place and get all the help I need. am I becoming selfish. As a child, and as a teenager I was denied all the emotional support that I needed. Not because they did not love me but because they were not aware of what they are doing. Or maybe they were too busy making a living and dealing with other problems, and emotional level of support got lost in order to fulfill the financial support. I am sure that I have dis satisfaction in my bone for what happened then, or what that did not happened. I hope I will be strong enough to forgive them, change what I can today, and do not think about what that can not be changed. live for today, with out gambling addiction. Today I have done something that made me happy, and the day still young. thank you all for being here.