I was suddenly depressed and felt very fearful and stress. I needed an instant gratification or high from gambling, alcohol, or sex.
On a trip back home in the afternoon, I saw an automobile accident just as it happened next to a bus stop near me, at another bus stop, I saw someone my age struggling to walk, each step was slow and difficult, this person looked like a recovering stroke patient. I also met a friend today, he was older than me and doing the same type of work but he complaint that he has just lost his job.
My job is insecure but intact now, my health is not perfect but I am alive, and can still do work. I remember the saying “I cried because I have no shoe to wear until I met someone with no legs.” It brought back some gratitude and content back into my life.
Today was the last day in November, it will soon be over, all my gambling is history. Tomorrow is a new day, a new start, a new hope in December, I will take baby steps to stay stop in gambling, alcohol and sex.