#3707
dcor
Participant

Thanks for the response Jenny… I’m trying to keep it together, have to see how it goes.

Thus far, to the best of my knowledge, she hasn’t gone back there, but, I haven’t been trying to find out, or keep tabs on her. That would do me no good at this point, just stress me out more. So far as I know, she hasn’t sought any help anywhere, no groups, nada. I know I can’t force that, so I just have to let it go. She knows what I think, the next steps have to be hers.

I have my hands full now, trying to get the bills pulled back together. She isn’t on any of my accounts at this time, and I never have cash in my wallet, so no concerns there. As far as responsibility for the debts, I haven’t made it to talk to anyone yet. We have monster deadlines at work, so I’ve been doing 10-14 hour days. Have to work to pay what I can, then schedule after that to see what I can manage.

As far as, have I seen any difference in the way she acts…. yes, but nothing I would consider positive. As I said, she hasn’t worn the ring in days, and isn’t outright rude to me most of the time, but there have been days where, unless it was something concerning the kids and school, cars, etc, she’s said less than a half dozen words to me.

As for where the money has gone, I know it’s gone, trying not to dwell on it, but it’s tough. But, I know there’s nothing I can do to get it back, so grit my teeth, and onward.

As you said, not much more I can do at this time, without it being a more drastic, likely permanent decision. If it gets to the point she feels she’s leaving, she won’t come back later. She’s too stubborn to do that. I’m not at that point yet, but I can see where it might be my only viable option. We’ve been together almost 20 years, and divorce isn’t really the route that I want to go.

Sorry for the bouncy responses… just typing per my train of thought. Thank you again.