I appreciate the responses, and am still trying to get my mind around all this. Things have definitely been rocky since I told her I was changing the deposit and taking over the bills. I checked, and from what I can find, am located in an “Equitable distribution state”

So, sounds like if she racks up a lot of debt, I’ll be on the hook if she leaves…

I guess my biggest immediate concern is getting a handle on the bills to stop things from getting worse. BUT, she still says she isn’t gambling, and is not open to depositing her paycheck into my account. So, there is that income that I can’t put toward bills, but she can do what she’s doing. Any ideas on how to approach that, when she still denies everything?

How can I NOT enable, when she still has all her credit cards (that I am NOT listed on, so can’t call and get limits lowered, or cancelled?) and if she defaults on those, I am still responsible for? I don’t want to pay them, and have her do a cash advance and run it back up?

Sorry if my tone is abrasive, I mean no insult to anyone, it’s been a long couple days, and I’m stretched awful thin. It means a lot that I can at least get this out there, I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone else here, since I don’t know for certain what has been going on, no concrete proof other than the long list of fees and withdraws.