Jenny, I know that nobody can tell you how to conduct your recovery, but I really feel you are giving your husband a lot of power over you. As you say yourself, you are wasting energy wanting things to get better.
Again, I would suggest they you might consider taking a six month break from each other. He is playing games with your mind. Phoning last thing at night and first thing in the morning to talk about current affairs seems like a game to me. And my guess is that text about taking the kids out was intended for you, not his GA friend. CGs thrive on chaos. You need peace of mind. You won’t get it by skipping to his tune. Back off would be my suggestion but of course the F and F advice supercedes mine. I’m only coming at this from a very personal angle. I can see that you are being tested to the limit. When I’m gambling I change plans often to throw “suspects” off! He seems to be setting traps. You seem to be walking straight into them. Why would you call to his place or even discuss his concerns when he is blatantly lying?
Have you considered family counselling?
