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A little update here also; The funds from the bike sale landed in my account, and I’m now up-to-date with all minimum payments on loans and bills/rent etc. I have food, shelter, clothes and warmth, a solid financial plan for the months ahead, and some € in my wallet. I’m sad I have no motorbike, but in the bigger scheme of things I know I’m doing OK for now.

I went to another city with some friends over the weekend (including my housemate, who has my bank cards) to see a concert, and then returned to my hometown to go off to my other best mate’s birthday celebrations in the pub. It was good to get out, I was on the alcohol free beer as I’m not drinking at the moment, but I still had fun. However, I seen a lot of old friends in my hometown I hadn’t seen in a long time too, when they asked how I had been keeping during the small chat, I felt “I’m in debt from a gambling addiction and had to sell my motorbike” wasn’t a particularly apprpriate response so I just said “all good, and yourself?” , I look forward to the day when I can see friends and honestly reply to that question without hiding anything.

I get fleeting thoughts about gambling, without any desire – if that makes sense? My lizard brain craves the dopamine, but my rational brain is saying “Nah, f— that, you’re so done with that s—” . Not that it matters, I don’t have my debit cards, and am banned from all online casinos I know of

Tomorrow will be my first day taking public transport to work after the sale of the motorbike, I’ll have to remind myself, I’m on this bus because I am rebuilding my life, and throw on a good spotify playlist to see me through the 1 hour commute (That’s 20 mins on a motorbike…but we’ll ignore that)