#1699
san250
Participant

Hi Velvet and everyone 🙂
I love how you pop up in my email whenever I’m having a cg crisis, you must have a crystal ball!!
Well the inevitable has happened and due to gambling my son’s relationship has spectacularly collapsed and her family flew him out of the country! So now a week later he is back on the island he was on before, penniless and miserable.
I’ve been working so hard on myself. The only person I am going to change. I have to change to find peace and get rid of co-dependency ways. Being co-dependent means I have a huge need to fix things and control things to keep myself safe and happy, but as we know no one wants to be controlled. I’m currently working on boundaries and realise I’ve had very few! And my need to give away my stuff is due to wanting to be accepted and loved. Now I’ve cleared that belief up I am feeling much stronger and calmer. This bit really hit home … “There maybe times we are called upon to assist but it will seriously impact upon our time, resources or energy levels. It is foolish to give time when we are running out of it ourselves, money when we are struggling financially or effort when we are exhausted or unwell.” and this, “EMPOWERING SOMEONE ELSE TO NOT NEED YOU”.
So for the last two nights my son has told me he has nothing, no where to stay, no money and no food. It’s very hard but I have not sent him anything. He is resourceful and the things he says do not add up. He only wants me to put money in his bank blah blah blah. How much he has to lose before he wakes up, I do not know.
I’m off to see my daughter in two weeks for a few days and I can’t wait. I haven’t seen her for a year due to my partner’s cancer treatment. He is now in remission and I can leave him on his own. It’s been a hard year but I hope on the up now. My other son is in South Asia studying and I’m going to see him next year :).
I hope everyone else is okay and not letting the cg ruin their lives. Take care everyone. San xx