#2951
jamesn
Participant

Here is an update on my situation. I have moved again. I moved from my sister’s house to my brother’s house which is only 2 miles away. He is single and non judgemental and not telling me what to do. Initially I thought my sister would be able to help me with my daughter but now I find her and her husband’s suggestions tiresome. I want to divorce my wife. I also don’t want any discussion about finding a new partner right now because it is too early. Suddenly I like the feeling of living alone right now. I don’t have to be responsible for anyone but myself and my daughter. It is lonely sometimes but also very peaceful.

I will meet with a Psychologist for the first time tomorrow. I hope she can help me to deal with the challenges that I am facing.

I have the ability to check to see how much my wife has lost during the last few weeks with bank account and credit check but I find the urge not as strong as before and I will try not to check them out. I also stopped talking to a friend who is my wife’s coworker to see if my wife is still missing work. I think it is pointless and may delay my own recovery. I hope this is a good sign. My Attorney assured me that any loss will be my wife’s problem. Luckily, we have no joint account. We will try to sell the house in a couple of months and split up our 401K balances. I am naturally a long term planner and I find myself worry about what my wife will do with the money. I hope she will buy a small condo so my daughter will have a decent and stable place to stay during the weekends. My wife will get about $140K cash [from the home equity] and about $140K in 401K but I worry that she will squander that money. I have no control over it but I worry anyway. I hope I can get let go of these thoughts soon. My uncle told me that I am a frugal person who plans far ahead so I will never be able to make it work with my wife. I think he is correct.

I put my daughter’s name into a preschool waitlist for one of the best church based preschool in the area. Luckily, they are expanding the school and my daughter is now scheduled to attend there starting on September 2. I spent an hour there to check the facilities, observe the students and teachers and their interactions and I think it is a wonderful preschool. I visited four preschools and this is by far the best.

Hi Mred, it is good to know that your daughter is OK so far. I read somewhere that children of compulsive gamblers have a 25% chance of inheriting the addiction genes. I hope my daughter doesn’t have it.

Velvet, so far I am unable to join your live help session. I hope to make it this week.

Vera, I think I am OK with my wife and her family taking care of my daughter during the weekend. I need a break too. I will have full legal custody. I will ask my attorney whether I could request the judge to ensure that my wife doesn’t gamble when she has custody of my daughter and she will not take my daughter to any gambling establishment. I also want the judge to request my wife to go through gambling therapy in order to have the rights to see my daughter during the weekends. Any violation could result in the complete lost of physical custody. My wife has been a wonderful mom so far but like you said she may get worst.