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Today is another day of celebrating being CG clean & the feelings of guilt and shame are slowly unhinging.

Things with Sam are good & we are both working on our trust issues. I get paid in just over two weeks and I’ll be arranging for my pay to go into his bank account. We are working on a budget (a better one) to get out of debt quicker and start saving. I have a question regarding this, he will have full control of my money and whilst I trust him a part of me feels that I should request work to direct deposit a $100 of my pay (get paid monthly) and the rest can go to Daniel. Just in case I need quick cash or something happens between Daniel and I (at least I have something in the bank). Now do I need to tell him this? He doesn’t know how much I get paid. However I don’t want to be deceptive, it is my money though and he doesn’t have access to my bank account so he won’t know it’s there. Now this isn’t some tactic to get money to cg, I’m just concerned about giving him all my money and it’s only $100.

This has caused me to lose sleep, please tell me your honest thoughts.