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nomore 56

It is very hard living in an emotional void, your own or someone else’s. I do feel some emotions, anger, sadness, desperation, are some of them. I just don’t know what real empathy, compassion etc. are, just in theory I understand what it should be. If that makes sense.
Do you really think that something DROVE you to gambling? Has your hb always been this way? Do you think that he, in general, is a trigger for you?
From what I have learned, I firmly believe that every addiction treatment needs to take a holistic approach. Gambling is just one facet of what might be going on with a person. My hb completed a 120-days inpatient program and they dug really deep into his past and what happened over a lifetime. It was painful but a huge revelation. Gambling was his escape and provided a rush at the same time. The roots were laid in his childhood. He often told me that I made him gamble because of this and that. Come to find out that I just symbolized and reminded him of what happened to him when growing up. Not only did he start his recovery, he is a changed man in many other ways as well.
I think recovery is even harder to maintain when you feel the void around you day in and day out. JMHO though.