I just wanted to say Hi and welcome to GT. I have been here for not too long but have found the advice and support to be fantastic. It really is a wonderful place to meet people in
the same situation who understand what you are going thru and don’t judge. Posting and reading others posts helps you see that you are not alone and that others have been where you are.
I agree with Velvet that a pre-paid credit card might be a good option. I also worried that my husband was feeling like a child. I asked him to keep receipts for all the cash he spends so that it doesn’t “disappear”. I am not sure how badly he feels about this but he has accepted it as a consequence of his own making. I haven’t been that ridged on tallying up the receipts but just knowing that he keeps them and hands them over to me makes me feel like he has to be accountable. I also am a stay at home mom and my husband being the bread winner. I too feel guilty when he asks me “is is ok if I do such and such?” but he realizes after many calm mature conversations that it needs to be this way for a while until I can trust him again. My husband never really blew much money gambling. At least I never noticed much missing and i have access to all our accounts. He set a limit for himself and never went over it. He’s a card counter (black jack) and for him it was the thrill of beating the house, skipping out on work, lying to me, etc etc. Everyone’s story is different but we all have common threads.
If you can talk to your husband respectfully and explain that given what has happened he needs to earn your trust back. Like I just said in my latests post “we have fallen a long way… and it will take a long time to get back” Maybe the pre-paid card with a set amount will give him freedom to buy essentials but you peace of mind that he wont sink you into financial ruin?
I am hardly any kind of expert but I wanted to say welcome and bravo for being brave and posting. It can be scary sharing all these things “out there”. But you are in a safe place. The members here are lovely and all care about the growth and healing of others.
Keep posting, keep reading and know you are in the right place.
xoxo
Madge