First of all let me say that you have come to the right place. I myself have met many a great person on here and I’m glad you’ve found the community we have. As Velvet said above this is the place to LEARN more about your situation and how to interpret it. Also in agreement with her, your first priority should indeed be yourself. It will be the hardest habit to break but you should work at it diligently. You are IMPORTANT. You are the only one who knows yourself well enough to give YOU everything YOU want and need. And the best way you can remind yourself how important you are is to remember that Self-care and Selfishness are two COMPLETELY different things. You can never see yourself as ready to support and help someone if you cannot do those things for yourself.
I encourage you to use the live chats (they’re great for instant feedback) and to continue to peruse the forums. We understand as perhaps no one can.
All my support