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Welcome, Momo.

Just like yourself, I’m also a very good gambler. Blackjack and sport’s betting are my games and I win almost every time I go and play.

Just like yourself, I’m also a compulsive gambler and will find a way to lose my winnings (and then some), integrity and soul, regardless of my knowledge and skill. Losing the money hurts, but losing myself is the real problem.

You sound a lot like myself. I’m not broke from gambling. I could go right now and gamble with a sizeable stack that I can “afford to lose”. But ‘Ive done that too many times. Over 20+ years, I’ve gambled away a nice retirement. I’ve gambled away money that my parents – who continue to work at the ages of 77 and 75 – could have retired on. I have put undue stress on my marriage. I could have sent my children to better colleges than they are currently attending. Hell, I’ve fucked up so many times, what’s another?

Or…I could quit. Man, the answer seems so obvious, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it isn’t. My mind wants to gamble. I LOVE the action. Nothing quite like it, really. I have to work to not do so as you are doing right now. You are helping yourself just by crying out for a relatable ear. It’s true what they say, even the longest journey begins with the first step.

Because we think as we do, this is not an enviable struggle. It’s also not an impossible one.

Keep posting. It helps.