#3006
monique
Participant

Hi Neecy. I am glad you have come here and I hope you will find useful information and the support you need, practical and emotional.
It is very difficult when you are separated from the one you love and do not fully understand what is going on.
You haven’t written a lot yet, but I am sure you will find people here who have been through the kind of thing you are now experiencing.
When we love someone who is a compulsive gambler, we often become very involved and focus entirely on their life and their needs. We can overlook our own personal life and needs – we may think that all we need is for the loved one to stop gambling and get his life sorted out and then we will be fine. But here, we learn that each partner needs to learn about his/her individual needs and make their own journey of ‘recovery’. This is one of the reasons that the rehabilitation programme may want your husband to face things apart from you and truly start his own journey for his own reasons – it is not to make things difficult but to better facilitate his recovery.

I would encourage you to use the time apart to think about you and the things you need on a personal level and to really cherish yourself in ways that make you feel better and stronger. Your husband will be cared for and you can perhaps take a breather from all your worries about him.
I don’t know if this makes sense just now, but stick with it, read other people’s stories and take care of yourself. Write more about yourself and your questions and arm yourself with relevant information. We would love to get to know you better and therefore be able to offer you the right help.
Very best wishes,

Monique