Hello,
Check this out! Instead of focusing on how close you were to adding money into your account, think about how you just made it through and didn’t deposit! You had the urge but you resisted. Yes it didn’t accept your payment but nonetheless you didn’t gamble. If you can beat that urge you can beat the next one.
Over 4 years ago, I quit using chewing tobacco after 15 years of being a user. It was the most difficult quit ever. I accomplished it by making it through each day, and focusing on the positives of my quit. I say this because I know from that quit, being free is possible.
From my experience, being active and exercising is absolutely the best possible thing we can do as we try to beat an addiction. Exercise gives us that clear mind we so badly need.
She started to cry because this isn’t the first time I’ve had this conversation. She was more hurt about me hiding it and lying about It than the money lost. I put our family in a terrible position financially but the hurt I caused her by losing her trust was even worse. Honestly, the only way i was able to make that conversation was through the strength of God. I prayed He give me the strength to speak the truth and own up to my mistakes. If I’m man enough to do it, I have to be man enough to be honest about it. If not, I’m not much of a man.
I hope my rambling helps. I’m happy you were able to make it through day 6. Things will get better. There was a saying my tobacco quit brothers use to say, it was “embrace the suck.” Which basically means embrace the sucky times because its only a matter of time before our lives are better. Embrace the suck, our bodies are in recovery mode.
Have a great day 7. Lets do this! You are not alone!