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If I have succeeded in ending my life.

1. I would not be there to help a few person at their most helpless and hopeless moments. These people has either survive a suicide or are contemplating suicide, most have lost all hope, direction and motivation to live.

2. I would not see myself providing the family every month now and returning a sibling one lump sum of SGD$70,000 real soon.

3. I would not have own a fully paid small property today. If I was kick out of the house in the past, I really have nowhere to stay, I could not afford one.

4. I would not have reconcile with the family today, everything turn out better than I thought possible.

For me, my hopeless end has turn into endless hope. This is the hope that I tell other people in recovery. These things can happen but it would not have happen if I am dead. 

What I did is nothing compare to many but it is everything to me. My favorite parable is the poor widow offering, those 2 copper coins is everything she had.

How do I want to finish my race? How do I want my love ones to remember me in my remaining years?