You self worth has been stripped from you as it has for me.
You have the intelligence and tenacity to beat this while you’re down. Don’t allow this to continue. Please self exclude from both sites. It’s not worth it. How much more or low do you want to go before you make that decision ?
It’s not easy, Andrea, believe me I struggled for years and refused to shut that door till now. After all that is where my money was and the only way I could get back up. But when you’re as far gone as we are, it doesn’t come back anymore. When it does, we play it write back and never cashout.
I was like you. A recluse, kept my blinds closed and had to call in sick because I had no money to get to work. But in fact we are sick, that is no lie. I squandered my salary every month. My salary has just come in today and for the first time, I’ve paid almost all my bills with the biggest chunk on my company card for fear of losing my job. I haven’t got much left but boy am I happy it is for good reason and not because I gambled it away and ended up with that sick nauseating feeling.
I am so glad that you have made that step to apply for residential care. I had my telephone interview end of March when I gambled all my money away and continued to do so and I received a call last week to say I’m booked in for June.
It is the best decision you have done. I’ll pray that you get in. They don’t get back to you for quite a few weeks after your interview and then only to say you’re on the waiting list. Well that is how it was for me. I so wish you could get in sooner with the session in June.
I am glad you’re here and you’re still posting.
Keep posting Andrea. This is your journal to yourself to write and say how you feeling and check in with yourself.
Please try speaking out loud in the mirror that you are kind, you are loving, you are smart, you are intelligent, you are blessed and you are loved. You need to tell that other person, this is you and let you brain now too, to connect you to the real you.
Your boyfriend will show he cares and try to help without feeling used and funding your addiction. You’re blessed to have him there even if you not really connected because your other person will never connect with anyone. My ex-boyfriend was the same. He helped me out and a showed protective side I never knew but didn’t want to be taken to fund my addiction.
DO IT NOW, Andrea while you’re broke. Forget about the free credits. It does’t compare or is anywhere near to what you lost.
They’re just keeping you in that cycle. They’re playing with your mind. They are skilled at taking you out and still getting money out of you. Break that spell.
You will feel a weigh off your shoulders and and immense relief to finally let go and be free. It really does make one feel different amidst the turmoil.
I’ll keep praying for you to get there.
Think about you and look around where this has taken this beautiful, smart, intelligent lady. You deserve more. Do it for you.
Be strong. Stay focused.