Izzi, I read your words, understand your concerns and listen to your heart, the only way “this disease will render you alone for ever and ever” is if things don’t change, many people over the years have said to me “if nothing changes then nothing changes” I take it in and understand what they are trying to say, just for today you are not alone and you are making your life better and better as each gamble free day ticks on, I promise you this……..if we work hard, stay gamble free then our lives honestly do get better and better as each day ticks by, the experiences we have had just make us stronger if we choose to learn by our mistakes.
Take care Izzi and please never feel you are ever alone, life honestly does get better, wish you well and all the very best in your recovery and life.
Maverick