We’ve all been there but I’ve been doing it for over 20 years or more. I stopped counting. We have to learn that we will never win from gambling and that our only win is from NOT gambling. It destroys and changes you as a person but it totally controls you and you keep chasing your losses. You have to forget about your losses and decide to stop and take one day at a time.
I’ve got no money till pay day. I gambled all my March salary and a month’s bonus the very day it got paid into my account. I felt so sick with the guilt and remorse and worthless feelings that accompanies losing. But I couldn’t stop. I cannot stop and need support from here. Enough is never enough. Even when I win, I will gamble for a bigger win till I lose everything.
But all that guilt, remorse and pain from March was soon gone and forgotten when I received my work expense money which got paid to pay my company card. That demon came back to entice me and whispered that I would win this time and made those urges seem attractive with a nice win. He tempted me to just play with £100 but once I played the £100, it turned to £200 till all was gone and I was again broke. That was a week ago.
I’ve been on here ever since and been gamble free but only because I don’t have any money to gamble. But I am determined and focused and with the support I have on here will not gamble one cent of my salary this month.
When you get the urge, get up and go for a walk. Try to delay it and tell yourself in an hour’s time, then an hour later, till the urge eventually gets less and less. Decide not to gamble and go with your mind and not your feelings or the voices in you head.
Keep posting on here. Write about how you’re feeling, what you’re doing to fill your time so you don’t gamble and overcome those feelings and focus on your recovery one hour, one day at a time.
Stay focused and strong.
All the best.