29 July 2010 at 2:08 am #16977
Gosh where do I begin……I have been playing the slots for the past 10 years on and off with concequences, almost losing my house, my marriage and worst of all my self asteem.The first 8 years was the worst loosing thousands of $ I confessed to my husband and seeked therapy he even came along to a few but then refused to go as he said it was my problem and not his. after months of therapy I thought I was fine and had beat it but how wrong was I, 6 months later I was back to my bad habit, this time in secret hubby still has no clue that I relapsed. Im tired of all the lies and secrets its really getting me down. I even managed to convince myself that since I can’t give it away I will just control it by going less, which was working at first I went from going once a week to once a fortnight to once a month but that did’nt last long I was back to once a week so the time has come to wake up to myself and realise I need to give it up all together.I dont know how to do it but Im going to really try.I just want to live a normal life!!
29 July 2010 at 3:40 am #16978
Ok heres my dilema it’s Friday tommorow it’s my day off and it’s pay day…usuall routine would be disregard any bills they can be delayed till next week and go play the slots. Now I have put some measures into place such as I have booked an appointment at the hairdressers for first thing in the morning I have rang the utility companies and made an arrangement that I will be paying the bills on Friday…BUT what if tommorow comes and like in the past I get the urge and do none of what I planned and go and play the slots….
I did think about giving all the money to my husband so that he could pay the bills but he’s at work for a 12 hour shift and can’t get to the post office to pay them.
Gosh this is soooo hard………
29 July 2010 at 4:19 am #16979bettieParticipant
Bank advice I can give you. Online bill payment through the web site of the companys will spend your money the right way. You can set that up through your bank too.
As a complusive Gambler money is temptation. If you are not comfortable talking to hubby maybe a relative or friend could work as a comfident and help u mannage. No $$ = No Gamble.
Please keep posting. Join the chats and seek help on the helpline when they are open. We all understand. Post questions, vent, do what ever it takes to delay and or prevent that next bet.
First steps are hard but nessessary. We’re here for you!
29 July 2010 at 3:25 pm #16980mike123Member
A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.
29 July 2010 at 4:26 pm #16981colin in brumParticipant
Hi Steevie and welcome to the forum. How about goping to the casino? Leave your cash and cards at home and ask for them to exclude you.
That would be a good start but its important to realize that there ios no "cure" for this addiciton. You need ongoing support. It would help if you could be honest with your husband so that you don’t have to hide and *** to use that support. Being honest would alos mean that nexct payday things can already be put in place to limit your access to funds. GA meetigns would help as well and again not being honest would make it harder to get to them. Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.
29 July 2010 at 4:59 pm #16982cant take itParticipant
Hi Steevic, and welcome!
I have only been here a short time, but have gained so much knowledge from those who have been exactly where I have been. Take all their advice, because it is worth so much. We all know that pain the you are going through, and it takes time to feel better. It has only been 2 weeks since I have been on this sight, and I feel so much stronger to fight this gambling addiction, with the help of all my new friends on Gambling therapy.
Stay strong, and we can all stop this madness together
29 July 2010 at 5:09 pm #16983paul315Participant
Originally posted by steevie
Gosh where do I begin … I need to give it up all together …
… BUT what if tommorow comes and like in the past I get the urge and do none of what I planned and go and play the slots …
Good morning Steevie, my name is Larry (screen name paul315) and I am a Compulsive Gambler, my last bet was Aug 13, 2009. Welcome to GT, it is a place you can find help; you will also find the friendship of others that have experienced all the things that you have and have felt all the same hurt and guilt – you are not alone in your trouble.
Where do you begin, you began six or so months ago by coming truthful to your husband and starting a recovery program through therapy. You can now continue that process and be restored to a normal way of thinking and living; the best way would be following the same process, once again being open to your husband and staying true to your recovery, and stop being secretive.
To copy a post from another member, "I will say that the secrets keep us sick. As long as you continue to *** your way through life when it comes to gambling, you will remain in a cycle where you hate yourself so you gamble, you gamble and you hate yourself, and on and on it goes. I’m never going to say that quitting is easy, but it wasn’t as hard as I thought. I only had to white-knuckle it through the urges, and then I was okay. Give in to them…and I was right back on the treadmill."
I have also found this information about telling a spouse from different others. Telling a spouse or significant other is a hard thing to do, mostly because you are also again admitting to yourself what you have done. But "admitting to ourselves and to another human" is one of the steps we must take to recover. In doing so, it might be best to do it now, as soon as possible – not convenient. Do it before they find out on their own – and they will, if not already known or highly suspected -, thus adding to any mistrust you may face. You are at a good stage having started with a recovery process by being here, showing them that you are sincere in facing your need to stop. If and when you do this, it is vital to be completely honest with them (and yourself). Let them know of your total addiction and the reason for the lack of money. Do not hold anything back for later, telling a little at a time causes additional mistrust each time that you spill out a little more of the story, you will then have to face another barrage of questions and new mistrust. Each time you revise your story they will just think, "what next, what else are you hiding".
Keep up with your visits here and placing barriers to help during the urges; if the urges become stronger, place stronger barriers and remember that the urge will not hurt you, but, giving in to them will cause more trouble. Do not gamble for anything for one day at a time, and you will find that the urges get less intense.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide nd strengthen you.
Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free.
29 July 2010 at 10:17 pm #16984
It’s Friday 8.00am here in Oz I have dropped the kids off to school I have a bit of time to kill before my trip down to the post office to pay the bills. I haven’t had the urge as yet but who nows if they will pop back into my head or not in the next couple of hours, but I will try my dam hardest to get through it. I would also like to thank those who took the time and replied to my post so Thank You. I also would like to point out something that Paul315 said and has struck a cord "Remember the urge won’t hurt you". In the past when I have had the urge it has been painful to get through but I know realise it won’t hurt me (it’s strange how something someone says can make an impact on one). Any way I’m off now need to go will keep you all posted and let you know how my day finished up.
29 July 2010 at 10:31 pm #16985veraParticipant
Hi Steevie! Recovery is not easy, but we can make it easier by filling our time with other things and planning ahead, as you are doing. Make it easier by not handling money ( you are taking a BIG risk by handling cash to pay bills). As Bettie advised, pay online or get somebody else to carry out that task. HANDLING CASH IS A no no IN EARLY RECOVERY! As Colin advised , self exclude from your nearest casino. Then it will not be possible to play the slots. A CG ***** two things TIME and MONEY. Be strictly accountable for both. Tell a pal your problem and get her/him to glue herself to your side, to ring you every 5 minutes to holler if you move away and to hold your purse. Recovery won’t come to you, you must set up the goalposts and play according to the rules. That way it works. ODAAT!
30 July 2010 at 12:59 pm #16986
Well im pleased to report back I acheived quite alot today. I did everything I set out to do plus more, I had my hair done,I paid ALL the bills I had coffee with a few girlfriends and best of all I told my husband that I have decided to go back to therapy and that I have found this amazing site and I have asked him to take charge of all the money and when he asked me why am I doing all this I just could’nt bring myself to tell him everything instead I chose to tell him Im worried about relapsing. I know lies are no good during recovery but I just wasnt ready is that so bad?.
So for today Im gamble free.
However Im not going to get carried away as this is only the beginning bit like a diet first couple of days its all exciting and geard up to go and then a few days later it hits you so I must remember…ONE DAY AT A TIME
30 July 2010 at 4:14 pm #16987colin in brumParticipant
Hi Steevie, well done on the steps you ahve taken. I always say it’s better to come completely clean but obviously the decision is yours. A question that ***** asking though – do you have any debts your husband doesn’t know about? If so how are you going to pay them given that you are now more accountable? Hidden debts etc can in themselvers send people back to gambling as they try adn keep them hidden. Keep posting
31 July 2010 at 4:34 pm #16988pParticipant
Nice to meet you on here.. Congratulations on coming here and think the steps you have taken to safeguard yourself are wonderful.. Keep coming here and posting, try the group sessions and one one one line.. GA meetings maybe? You are going great. I too feel the urge at ***** after dropping my boy to school.. but learning more and more each day about this. Look forward to reading more from you, you can do this Steevie
P – Living and Learning
3 August 2010 at 12:05 am #16989pParticipant
How are you going, lets know soon, keep posting
P – Living and Learning
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