10 years of wishful thinking - Gambling Therapy

This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 2 months ago by Reno2010.

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- 5 July 2020 at 3:07 pm #68160
  
  Reno2010
  Participant
  
  It all started in Reno. I won a little over $2,000 – I know, it’s not much, but enough for me to begin this crazy addiction. Over the course of 10 years, I’ve won little piles of cash like that and I think, eventually I will win the jackpot. HA!
  nThough I only gamble several times a year now, usually getting dumped by stupid men and loneliness triggers it, I lose plenty at dumb slot machines, of all things. Alot being $400- 700 at a time. Still not alot of money to some of you, but to me that adds up quickly. The problem is I go in with a set amount but then I convince myself that I can win since my machine keeps letting me win, and I keep withdrawing money until I can’t. It’s the monster within that I want to rid of. I feel like a crazed woman.
  nI guess I want to stop gambling all together because I won’t win the jackpot and that is the insanity I have to rid of. I can go months without gambling and that’s because I do pay the important bills, but some I just let go since my credit score is low anyways, I don’t care about them. But then I get dumped or I feel super depressed and lonely, I use up what cash reserves I have and dump into a machine. I may be up $200 but NO, I want more so I play until I have no more money to play with. I have to find a way to completely stop gambling.
  nThe little I lose could take me on a vacation, but the loneliness and the feeling of rejection keeps me going back. Still, I pray and pray – not to the extent of preaching bible verses, but I pray. Thank you all for sharing your stories. I find comfort in knowing that you are beating the addiction!
- 5 July 2020 at 4:50 pm #68427
  
  Reno2010
  Participant
  
  Thank you for that. While I know all of that information as I’ve read many articles and self-help books, not to mention the therapy, yet I continue to go back as there is noone to stop me.
  
  I live alone; my children are busy with their own lives and dealing with mom’s issues are far more scary than life, so when I feel depressed, I wiped out my savings.
  
  I am so destructive. Sometimes I wonder if taking pills would be easier, but I won’t. My children are far too important for me to do that to them. So not to worry in case you were wondering.
  
  Thank you Kin for posting.
- 6 July 2020 at 8:19 am #68435
  
  dunc
  Participant
  
  Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
  
  Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
  
  Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
  
  As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
  
  And on that note….
  
  Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
  
  Take care
  
  The Gambling Therapy Team
  
  PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
- 22 June 2021 at 11:36 pm #78075
  
  Reno2010
  Participant
  
  I thought last year was my last year of gambling – even during the pandemic, I found a way. Just this year, I’ve spent more in gambling than I have the last three years, which isn’t m uch but I have been withdrawing from my 401K plan to gamble so that I can feel better, and hoping to win ofcourse, but I didn’t.
  
  I’m not a rich person, but I think gambling will make me rich and my financial problems will be gone and I will be liked by everyone, but that’s silly. I’m thinking maybe it’s not the gambling that I get caught up in, but something more serious, like a personality disorder or something.
  
  But I love that you guys are still staying strong and not bending to those vices, and if you have, don’t kick yourself in the butt. Just own up to it and know that tomorrow is another day! You guys are my inspiration!!!
  
  I will put forth an honest effort to not gamble for the rest of my life.
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