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    • #51168
      Antonio99
      Participant

      Hi everyone.

      I am not sure if today is my 100days mark achieved(might be +-3days), but I will celebrate it like it is.

      As there is not much people I am willing to share, this site provided me help when I needed it the most, and I would like to share what my life is after 100days.

      Anyway, at beggining of march, I gambled the last money I had and felt into a state of mind with constant anxiety, nightmares all night long and everything bad.

      It was the worst experience I have ever had in my life. It lasted for 7days, my health status was awful, I didnt perform very well at work, I was nervous in front of my family and friends. OCD and anxiety started hitting me.

      Guilty mind is a playground for mental demons. lol

      Anyway, my financial status sucked:

      – had maxed out small credit card limits on 2x banks.

      – had loan to a loan house

      – had small loans to give back family

      – had bigger card limit on main bank (4x paychecks)

      I had three ways out of that zero balance life:

      – take out a credit from a bank to pay out everything

      – sell some personal stuff to pay out at least part of it and get on time

      I didnt pick any of two options. I decided to speak to my mom about this problem, coming completly honest for the first time in my 26 years of life.

      We both cried almost all night and she was so supportive telling me that everone has some kind of bad stuff in their life and that we will overcome this together and we did it.

      She had a lot less money than my paycheck is, and she helped me to pass the month giving me money only for basic stuff that I needed for life. 

      Those three weeks before new paycheck arrived was really stressful, but there is no easy way out.

      As I am very well educated, math-person that was logical in every aspect of my life I couldn’t figure out how did I ended up in this trap of gambling nightmare.

      I spend every single day reading psychology books, quora answers, YouTube videos on a topic how our minds work.

      I learned why did I become addicted, how I couldnt control my self and I started to pick up every single advice given from experts. I would write them in a paper and would remind myself of it every single morning for upcoming day.

      I fixed most of the other stuff, I reduced intake of sugar, started working out, going to sleep without pc, and I would read a lot.

      This was really beneficial for my health and my mind.

      Paycheck arrived and I took 30% of it for living expenses and with the rest I gave my mom money back and started paying out all the other loans.

      As I completely changed my mind, I started to learn new stuff about my work everyday (software development). I did everything on schedule and I really focused on my work.

      Next month I got a raise and a call from a company that I can work part-time. 

      Just in a month of giving up a habbit, I got much more money. I didnt even think about gambling, my main goal was to repay everything I fucked up. 

      I started spending 12hours on work, freelancing, everything and started paying everyone. And I enjoyed it because I was stress free. 

      My first calculations were that I will repay all my debts by May 2020, but giving how everything improved in pasts three months, I will repay every signle thing by the end of the summer. That makes me happy like a little kid.

      I am left only with debt on my main bank card limit (2 paychecks in minus). 

      So to sum up beneficial stuff after 100days:

      – I have paid back most of my loans

      – Started working in crossfit 2-3 times per week

      – I am not depressed, anxious, I sleep like a baby

      – My health has never been better

      – I enjoy meeting with my friends more than ever

      – I started enjoying life, hiking, clibing, walking

      This whole gambling addiction has started sucking life out of me. And, it has to stop. There is no second life and I must enjoy it now.

      And, I had about three urges to gamble in first 50 days because it was hard to get all this money back and I would say this to myself.

      “Hey, imagine that you saved money for few years, and you bought a brand new car you always wanted. And suddenly you crash it on 2nd day. You spend your money on nothing.”

      Those situations happen every day to innocent people but they dont give up.

      So, all my debt will be going as that car situation 🙂

      If you have bigger debt, you can think of it as property or house that got on fire. Life goes on, you will be back up on your feet soon.

      To sum up, I dont have anymore gambling urges. And even if they come, after doing a lot of reading, I know how my mind works and I wont fall for that trap.

      I am happy, and I hope someone will find at least a bit of this post as inspiration to stop gambling, as I found it from other users here.

      You, who are reading this, you are not a bad person, you just fell into trap, and all your other good deeds will shine upon that small mistake, but you must stop it right now <3

      Have a nice day everyone, and sorry for some mistakes in writing. English is not my primary language.

    • #51170
      Pie
      Participant

      A massive high five to you Antonio from New Zealand. 100 days, that is so awesome. You should be very proud of yourself, for both opening up to your mum with your honesty, and for tackling this addiction head on.

      Like RG said above, I too am inspired. Only on day 10 of my second attempt to get through this, but I want to celebrate that milestone like you in another 90 days. And I shall do my very best to get there.

      You sound like you have huge relief in you. Keep going, long may the urges to gamble stay at bay and here’s to you getting your life together, one strong day at a time.

      Well done and thanks for sharing.

    • #51171
      dunc
      Participant

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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