28 December 2019 at 10:50 pm #7199Simond1983Participant
Hi all. New to this site. Never written anything on a website before.
I’m 37, a very ambitious hard working guy, whom over the years have had so many ups and downs, due to gambling and making rash decisions. I take risks and love thrills.
I would love to live a normal healthy life and to block out all these cutting corner fantasies, not only in my gambling mind.
December has been my biggest profitable month yet and my biggest losses, year after year my limits have been out of this world and it’s like it’s not me when gambling. I am shocked when I walk out of the casino or play online, what I have actually done. I work very hard for my wages and it goes In hours.
I am lucky enough to have made money over the years but due to my ambition I have not achieved my goals due to my spunking the majority of my finances down the drain. I shocked myself this month, on 5-6 occasions I won life changing money, down to evens to major profits, but for some reason it wasn’t enough, I wanted to continue the buzz. More and more. I realise my illness is not just about making money but the thrill and the excitement to see what will happen, the sky is no limit.
I have been to GA maybe 20 times in my life and after 2-3 meetings I feel like I’m cured. I am self excluded on majority sites but I still manage to get back onto online sites by searching for sites that are not registered with gamblock knowing that I have a huge possibility of not being paid out from
These dodgy Malta companies. I like the buzz and thrill of the slots and live black jack rouleltte. I watch YouTube videos of hig stake wins. This money I lost all my jackpot profit and more. My attitude changes to my family and partner, I feel like I don’t want to be with my partner is she the one for me but I’m not thinking properly. I can not come clean to my family or friends or partner and I never intend to. I have kept it a secret for years. My family are gamblers and this is one of the reasons how I started. I don’t have debit cards but I manage to manipulate friends to let me use their casino accounts and I transfer monies to them. Since I stopped my online banking and told my friends to not allow this. I will start from next week to go to a first meeting of the year. My only worry is that how I feel today, I won’t be feeling in a few weeks/months, meaning I will be happier. I know what I got to do. I will go 2-3 times a week to meetings and put this as a priority. If anyone has any input and advise I’d love to hear. Im really not into the steps, going to meetings and especially sharing as my mind goes black while in meetings. Thanks all
29 December 2019 at 9:52 am #7200Paul DentParticipant
- This topic was modified 1 month ago by charles.
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team30 December 2019 at 10:10 pm #7201charlesModerator
Well done on looking for help. Get back to your meetings, this time keep going. Does your partner know about your gambling? Can they help look afer your money for a while.
Please don’t reply here – you will get more support in the My Journal Forum. This topic Group Forum is for discussing he pre set Topics we have in some of the groups here. The My Journal Forum is busier and you will get more feedback there.
Hopefully I will see you in one of the groups here as well – check out the schedule.
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