[gamblorisdead]

Hi my name is Jek, I have always been into gambling but never uncontrolable until 3 years ago when I began playing online roulette. I had the same story as many of you where you start winning over and over to then fool yourself by thinking thoughts of, “I must have a skill” “I can do this as my job” “I’m invincible” but where it took a few weeks to build up a few thousand in winnings it took one quick session to lose it all, and being extremely competitive and compulsive I could no accept it and say “oh well you win some you lose some” I had to win it ALL back right now so bet higher and faster desperately trying to get my “winnings” back. And of course once I win it all back “il never bet again” so I’d manage to win it back and turn off the pc. I’d last a few hours before I was back on saying il bet low this time and stay in control. That however never happened so would always end up chasing losses until the day came when that last spin didn’t go my way and I had put every single pound accessible to me into my gaming account. Gone all gone my world came crashing down around me, how was I going to pay the rent, feed my kids, pay all the other usual bills??? Who could I borrow money from, when could I get a new credit card, the usual stuff I’m sure you have all thought to. The one thing I did do was to self exclude myself from the website knowing I’d never trust myself on there again.
Anyway I managed to stop gambling, borrow the money to pay bills and work a second job to pay back what I owed. I finally got to a place where I was finally out of debt and had a bit of money in my hand. This time I got into betting on football matches, betting high stakes on extremely low odds and in play betting which was great, the excitement and buzz was massive, plus there is football matches played all over the world 24/7 and soooooo many sites to use. As you can imagine the same story as before, build up thousands in winnings over a few months but lose it all in a couple of bets (one more bet to win it all back bets) so once again lost every single penny I could lay my hands on. The physiological effects of being up and out of debt to thousands in debt in a few hours was extremely hard to handle. I couldn’t face borrowing or working a second job again. I turned to family and confessed to everything as I had previously not told anyone what I had been doing or spending! I managed to get a bailout this time on the providence I would never gamble again and go to meetings. I had intended to go to meetings but never actually got round to it. I was clean for another 9 months (self excluded from all the sites I had joined)
Then a few weeks ago I remembered there was one major site I had not joined so after umming and erring thought I’d join but stay in control this time! Unfortunately this one also had a casino option so before long I as betting on football and blackjack, roulette, slots etc. once again built up thousands of winnings in a few weeks to lose it all in one evening and chasing left me in thousands of debt again!!!
Why do I do it? And why always this time of year?
Please help anyway you can to stop me doing it again next year…..

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