29 January 2017 at 8:15 pm #5452mrigotitallParticipant
I am very happy I found this website but still need reassurance. I am doing the right thing.
I have a Mother, Aunt, and 2 Uncles that are all CGs. My mother who is also a enabler of her Sister and Brother. And her Brother enables my Mom and Aunt who are sisters. My mom stays with her Brother who gets disability and all the bills are paid by his check. And a lawyer handles all his money and pays the bills for him so no matter what the household bills are took care of. Which made very difficult to there was a major problem.29 January 2017 at 9:54 pm #5453mrigotitallParticipant
My Mother makes close to or over 100k a year. But is broke from paycheck to paycheck and she only has a car note to pay. I have always known my mom had a problem for at least 15 years but did not think it was that bad or did not want to think it was that bad till 2 years ago. When she got a lump sum of 30k and won 10k on a scratch off all within a couple of days. And since I set up her online checking account. I took it as a opportunity to see what she was spending her money on. I saw all 40k was gone in less than a month. Granted she did buy my children’s school clothes and gave me $500 for my business to buy a laptop. Every weekday she was at least getting $200 out of the ATM at the store where she plays lottery and on the weekend $400 to $600. That’s when I knew I had to try to do something but was scared to address the issue boldly. So i hinted at how much she played for the next 2 years. Her Brother also plays just about everyday with the $300 allocated for his spending change the lawyers give him out his check every month. My moms sister is the worst of them all. And my mom is an enabler of her. My moms sister had a business in which me and my wife originally started with her 8 years ago. And my she basically ran us off from our on business by spreading lies and causing confusion within our family within 6 months of opening cause she wanted complete control of the money she spent out of the business. Which we the business was making good money during the time we were there. My mom since she makes descent money and she has little bills. My Aunt is always giving her a sad story as to way she needs money and that the store is not making any money. And also tells her 2 kids the same story about why she needs money. And me and her sons are pretty close we are all in our 40s and have our own familys also to take care of. So about 3 years ago we all started talking about our parents playing the lottery so much and maybe there gambling is the reason of there financial problems. And the lame excuses they give us. My Aunts Children and my mom have each all given my Aunt tens of thousands of dollars in the last 2 years. But the bills and people she owes keep piling up. But we did not know what to do or how to find out for sure. Until about 2 weeks ago. When my aunts son had got her a new phone and they asked me to transfer her info from her old phone to her new phone. And i mistakenly blue toothed her text messages to my wifes phone. And thats when it was confirmed about all the gambling is the real problem. She had pictures of all the times she had hit the Jackpots which totaled at least 30k and we all know you dont hit a jackpot every month without at least playing twice the amount you won. And her pitting her own kids and family against each other so she could get money out of them. And my mother lets her Sister use her car as if it was hers and often leaves my mother having to bum a ride cause her sister has her car. And also gets between $800 to $1200 from my mom a month. Cause my Aunt has went to Jail for writing bad checks from her business. And she uses that as an excuse to keep getting money from my mom that she does not want to go to jail and that her kids do not love her. Cause they want help her anymore . We also that my mom and her sister were putting her on job at risk to get money. After going thru 2 years of messages at appears that my mom spends equal amounts of money in enabling her sister and also Gambling herself. I debated about whether to share the text with her kids but after trying to talk to my mom about it and getting her response to just flat out lying about it. Even going as far to say that I want her to choose between me and her sister. Thats when I shared the text messages with her 2 sons and we thought it would be best that we did take some kind of quick action. So we all meet with my Mom and my Aunt and my Aunts Husband. And told them we knew about everything so no more lies going forward need to be told. And before we could tell them about our plan of action. My Aunt flat out denied she had a problem and that she quit playing the slots months ago and that my mom was the only one with a problem. Which we knew was a lie cause we saw a picture in the phone. Where she just won 1200 about 2 days ago. My mom actually broke down and admitted she needed some help but my Aunt got to the point were she almost became violent. And kicked everyone out of her house. Well now my mom is upset with me for sharing the info on my aunts phone with her kids cause it was also evidence of her cheating on the phone. Saying I have alienated her kids against her and started a whole lot of mess and that I was wrong. And why do i hate my Aunt so much that I had to expose her secrets.
At this point I do not know what to do next or how hard to push my mom to get help. Because its like she want get help unless her sister gets help also and she want stop enabling her sister cause she cant turn her back on her. I know its quite a bit long and my spelling and grammer are not that great but any help would be greatly appreciated.29 January 2017 at 10:35 pm #5454velvetModerator
Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.
Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂
If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.
You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂
We look forward to hearing all about you!
The Gambling Therapy Team
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