[lastchance]

So, I’m not gonna bore anyone with some background story, we all known the drill.

I do need your advice though.

First question I want to ask is: is there hope? I want to be normal again,I have read recovery stories, some people went 2 years and relapsed, some 7 months, some 5 years and still fucking relapsed!

I am scared that even if I stopped now, it’d pop right back at a future date and I don’t want that. Cos you know, what’s the essence of trying when everything still goes to shit. I want to be totally healed, not to ever think of gambling again.

I am relatively young, I’m 25 years old. I have my whole life ahead of me and I know I have potentials to achieve great things, but I think of how this gambling shit is just at the corner looking to pounce on me once everything is okay and I freak out and loose will to even try to make anything of myself.

That’s the first question/thing I need advice on: Is there hope of totally healing from this gambling sickness?

Number 2:
My Debt.

So, at the beginning of the year, I made an attempt to stop gambling, I told my siblings(i am the last of four kids) about my gambling and the debt (and this wasn’t the first time, more like the 4th or 5th time. I’ve been gambling for about 8years or more).

They were pissed, mad furious at me. They decided that I’d have to pay back myself this time (to teach me how to be responsible and they hope I’d learn this time, plus, I work now, unlike other times when I was still in school).

Some measures were put in place like my siblings received my mobile alerts from my bank whenever money goes in and goes out).

The also helped me pay back some loans (which I am to pay back to them later) that I had defaulted on that were now accruing daily interests as of the time.

Sorry that this post is somewhat disjointed, bear with me.

So, my debt consists of money owed to friends and mobile phone loan apps (mobile phone loan apps are a thing where I come from).

The plan was 90% of my salary goes to paying debts, and this would go on for 1 year and say 3 months if I stuck to the plan.

But I owed lost of people and I was getting calls from everyone I owed, my friends and the loan apps reps threatened to call my contacts and publish my name in a newspaper.

This happened close to the end of January.

Now, I could have told my siblings, but they all have their own families with kids and I did not want to bother them. I made the silly decision to gamble my money and borrow money I knew I could not pay back.

Long story short, I changed the mobile alerts back to my own number and I deviated from the plan. I was stressed too and I gambled even going deeper in debt.

The problem I saw here was that I wanted all my debt paid at once, so I could focus on my life while paying back the debt using a plan that doesn’t involve 90% of my salary.

I know you would call me an entitled prick, trust me, I am. And even though it seems like I’m not remorseful, but I am.

I really wanted to stick to the plan, but the calls, I am too broke to afford anything and the thought of this going on for a year and some months freaked me out and stressed me so I started thinking I could win some more money and gambled.

So I want to suggest a plan to my siblings, that all my debts be paid at once, and I can pay them 40% of my salary back for however long it takes to payback the entire amount. That way, I can have savings and some change to enjoy life with and not pressure by calls. I am ready to surrender my finance to them to manage for me too. I just don’t like that I work 9-5 five times a week and only get 10% which only covers my transportation to work and feeding at work. (I live with my brother in one of my parents house in a different city because we both work there, so he has been the one providing food and paying utilities).

My second question now, is this a good plan, am I bound to relapse with this plan, cos I feel with less stress and without plotting schemes to avoid phone calls from my friends and uninstall my WhatsApp(which I consider totally childish and sick behaviors because I can’t bring myself to tell them stories on why I can’t pay the back, and frankly, they all need their monies now).

I know this post is all over the place, but I am remorseful and sick to the stomach with all that has happened, and I have suicidal plans and I’m really trying to stay alive to see if living is worth it and I’m working out plans to see how to ease my recovery process.

I feel bad that I am having to ask my family for the money, but I think about this way too, if I had one big sickness that need that amount for surgery or drugs, they provide it in a heartbeat, and somehow I have convinced myself that they can also provide it now(easily too) with me having to pay back in 2 years and some months with 40% of my salary.

I am tired of typing now, but I really do want to be better and live a more comfortable live free of stress and debts.

[bakiri]

Hello,

Isn’t hope the one thing that drives us to gamble? I am truly happy that you are honest with your siblings, for the plan – every debt paying plan is good, but you need to focus on the gambling addiction first, as you may slip again and go to even bigger debts, just understand that we are manipulated by casino’s psychologist that knows exactly how every situation will be consumed by our brains, the best of this situation is that you are filling that you have the potential to achieve big professional and mental gains, just focus on that if it’s only about the money you can easily sleep 5 hours a day and work 2-3 jobs.

P.S debt for 1 year is not that stressful mate, some people on this forum work 10 years to pay their gambling debts.

Hope to hear back from you.

Best wishes,

[mikeb]

Hi. My situation was quite similar to yours. In June this year I was running up debts with various different people and companies. It was at the stage where I was due out about £8k and my salary was tied up for the next 6 months. I reached out to my father who agreed to clear my debt on the understanding that I would repay him a smaller amount over a longer period of time. As soon as he cleared my debt I started borrowing again and I was unable to make payments to him. This went on for a couple of months. I’m 70 days gamble free at the moment. I transfer my entire salary to my father each month now and he sends me money back when I need it, not just for essentials but for other things too. As long as my debt level is reducing.
I’m about 3 months away from being debt free. Sounds like the brother you live with could look after your money in this way. Without money, you can’t gamble so as long as you are completely transparent with the money you have access to it will really help. As far as gambling urges go…..I still have them but not as frequently or intensive as I did a couple of months ago. Only now am I beginning to try doing different things with my free time and expendable cash. Give up access to money and allow yourself some significant time for your head to clear and it should help. Take care!

[ujju197]

Hello,

My situation is same too, thus my suggestions are:-

1. Don’t think of Debt for next 2-3 Months. Give your full salary to your sibling and tell him to manage during this duration.
2. Focus only, how to get rid of Gambling and Playing
3. I can guarantee, you there will be relapses during this period too; you will borrow or cheat to get money. (but this is a recovery phase)

So try by focusing on “Stop the Gambling”

[Author]

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