- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by Markzspectrum12345.
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28 December 2019 at 9:20 pm #53788crazywaterguyParticipant
Hi to whoever takes time to read this.
I have never done this before but want to try writing my story as people have told me it helps.
I am having a very difficult time in recovery right now so here goes.
I was a middle child and have two sisters and a Mom, and lost my father when I was around six. We never found him and declared him dead. I grew older and my mother met a wonderful man which i would say became my step father. They had
met in AA. When I was around 12 I started using marijuana regularily and worked at an alano club for money. They had poker rooms in the back and i would serve coffee etc and take care of pool tables I remember buying tons of scratch tickets at the local store in thesame mall and it all started. by 15 I was a bingo caller in the hall and found many ways to skim money with which I used drugs and gambled with in the poker room and also would join the (Sober guys) on a weekly trip to the horse races)
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28 December 2019 at 9:36 pm #53789crazywaterguyParticipant
By the time I was 21 I was married to a drinker and had a daughter and worked many hours to get money I would play blackjack at the local casino for hours and loved it I also was drinking very heavy and using drugs regularily still. When I turned 28 I was broke and was put in treatment for drugs and alcohol by my work at the city water debt. which I was working many overtime shifts etc. When I came out my wife got back together with me to her own demise as I never stopped gambling but fortunatly quit drinking and drugs and am 53 now. I worked many hours again but continued to gamble at races online poker and blackjack at casinos. To this day I have never owned a home and have moved probably 20 to 25 times renting. I ended up declaring bankruptcy at 40 with my spouse due to gambling and started fresh. I barred myself from local casinos to try and help but would travel to washington state to gamble and las vegas. I managed to get my credit back up and have now claimed a proposal on 145000 debt which occured over a few days with uk online casinos using canadas grey areas. My daughter now has four daughters and a drunk husband from money so i pray for her as I have ruined my life again and my spouse who is still with me but I know she hates me. I have a free gaming counsellor from my local casino and have been trying workshops but do to the damage i have done dont feel I can make it.
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28 December 2019 at 9:42 pm #53790crazywaterguyParticipant
I will try to lighten my story as much as I can but could really use any words of encouragement from anyone as living with myself is very difficult right now not sure I can fix this this time around!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop online gambling now
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28 December 2019 at 10:51 pm #53791Ryan123678Participant
You are in the right place. Keep speaking on here and to your counsellor also is there any gamblers anonymous meetings you can attend where you live.
You have had the strength to quit drugs and your wife stayed with you for that. So stay strong take it a day at a time and try not to be too harsh on yourself. Hopefully you can repay your wife by starting a gamble free life and start to be a good role model for your grandchildren.
You can do this and keep us updated on here how you are getting on. -
28 December 2019 at 11:07 pm #53792Markzspectrum12345Participant
Today could well be my last day gambling as I’m fed up. I admire my courage and it’s honest. Make another change in your life, not just for 2020 but it could be something your challenged by. My goal for 2020 is very realistic, safe even, but as gambling has messed up my life, I can’t go running into things as I used to, I’m 30 and I want to make better decisions for myself. Any support you have is key to moving forward
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