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    • #13400
      bruce1234
      Participant

      that’s how the joke always start.
      He sits down at a gambling machine and watches hiss girlfriend play as she puts all of the tips she earned from waitressing that night into the machine. The next night he does the same thing. This continues for w few weeks, then he hinself decides to put a twenty dollar bill into the machine next to hers. He has never before put a twenty dollar bill into one of these machines, a few coins over the years of his life, but never a twenty.  The man gets a row of plums and wins seventy dollars, cashes out and walks away a winner.  8 YEARS LATER. The man has put in hundreds if not thousands of twenty dollar bills in those machines in the hopes of what? what am I hoping for? why is it so hard to find better things to do with my time and money? why is gambling so addictive? so many questions unawsered.
      LOOKING FOR AWSWERS.I have a million dollars in the bank

    • #13401
      bruce1234
      Participant

      thanks for all you stories, i will keep telling myself i will never win and to not gamble just for today….
       
       

    • #13402
      amyyy
      Participant

      hey bruce i talked to you earlier in chat- and just wanted to jot u a line and say not to get too down about a slip- and hope ur feelin a bit better. I have been there. I know how frustrating it is. Keep up with recovery- it is worth it- just takes alot of hard work and persistence.

    • #13403
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Bruce, I was thinking about you a lot today. I hope your not being to hard on yourself about last night. I know the ****** feeling, done it a million *****. We can’t go back in time only move forward. Keep your chin up.

    • #13404
      bruce1234
      Participant

      Amyy and Jen, thanks so much for your thoughts and your support.
      I do feel better today, as i knew i would but not that much better, know the depression has set in. That feeling of
      "lost cause" as I refer to it. But after reading your replies things are looking up, tomorrow is payday and I’m more
      determined then ever not to give in to the urge. Thanks again hope too chat again soon
       

    • #13405
      paul315
      Participant

      Originally posted by Bruce1234… … I have a million dollars in the bank
      Good morning Bruce, a belated welcome to GT. I am slowly getting around to welcoming some new members from over the holidays, but welcome just the same.
      My name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. The years before that seams like a different but similar joke to me, a cruel one that started by "a man walks into a casino trying to escape"; a joke with a punch line hitting me hard in the gut and taking control of my life. Now 7 YEARS LATER, two and a few months of which have been gambling free, I am recouping from the loss of much money, and regaining control over my life. I even have some money in the bank (all of which I would surly loose if I were to return to gambling, the same as your if you continue). But what I don’t have is worth far far more than any amounts of money, I also lost a family, and lost years of my life and the enjoyments I traded in search of elusive dreams and false comfort, a search that found nothing but regrets and devastation. 
      Your story and your search for answers reminded me of this past life; thanks for being here and sharing. It is sad that you had to live under the same controls and found the same results, but I am grateful I can use your more recent experiences with gambling to remind me that nothing has changed in the world of gambling; in learning from you I do not have to venture back out into that abyss to test the waters — if only I could have learned form others earlier and not from my own actions.
      You now have the opportunity to learn from both your mistakes and those of others here too, your can find the answers to a lot of question, but it will be up to you to accept and use these answers. You will not find all the answers, answers to all the ‘"whys", but you can find answers to the ways and means to recover from the unanswered questions. Read and post to this site often and regularly, use all the services of GT to help you regain control of your life and live it in a more normal way. Look at live support groups such as Gamblers Anonymous, other social or community groups, and counselling, do all that you can to help you become the person that you are meant to be; you have to go after recovery, it does not come to you.
      God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you. 
       LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

    • #13406
      bruce1234
      Participant

      It`s payday and I am almost scared to cash my cheque.  I have arrived home from work and refusing to leave the house tonight. I have opened ny first beer and I will drink at least 4 because then I know I will not go out – don`t drink and drive.  I will have to go to the bank to deposit my cheque eventually because there are always bills to pay but not today. Today I will not gamble thank-you Jesus.

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